Saturday, July 11, 2009
7/11/2009 11:59:00 PM ● letting go

풀어놓다

It's time to let go.
My life's been taken over by Double S and Korean stuff! It's not that I don't support or love them any less, but I have to let them go before it's all taken away from me. And I wouldn't want that. Oh no I wouldn't.
So as much as it breaks my heart to do it, I have to. I'm not going to like TOTALLY like forget all about them or anything, just... I need to prioritize. I guess I've been neglecting lots of other things in my life and I need to get my life right. Gah. I should have realised this much earlier. Btw, this totally wasn't inspired by me wanting to actually start studying, but I guess that's the good that comes out of it as well. Don't ask why I'm like that. Just imagine having sat in church for around 10 hours i the past like, 24 hours attending seminars etc.
Argh. This sounds so NOT like Courtney. Maybe it's my brain malfunctioning due to severe exhaustion, but whatever. Change needed in this life of mine.

I seriously don't know how I'm going to survive. Can't imagine life without SS501 (See? I'm trying to get over my obsession here) Like I'm no longer going to be updated on all their activities and stuff. ): But like mentioned above, this doesn't mean I love them any less. I really don't and won't. They've still got that space in my heart ok? It's just that it has become an open space, it will always be there, but it's just not like barricaded anymore. Oh I think I'm talking loads of crap, but you get the point.

So I'm only going to use the com like on weekends now. Sigh.
I'm going on a com fast this week. Monday till Friday when I come home from school.
Leave me a message/email or text me.

No more refreshing allKpop every once in a while anymore... Oh man, I'll be totally lost by the end of each week.
But I hope this is for like the good of me. There's more to life than K-pop.
I'll buy the FT Island cd if they sell it in Singapore and if it's good though ;)

Dear God,
Please help me as I go on my com fast and my letting go of SS501.
Okay, maybe letting go isn't such a good word, how about, help me as I
re-prioritize my life for the more important things like You, my family and
friends and maybe studies? I really need help a miracle in the
latter.
I've realised you like reading my blog prayers huh? Somehow, You
seem to have responded to most of them in the most miraculous ways. But don't
get me wrong, I'm not doing this just cause I think it's going to be answered
here. I really mean it. But please please please don't let mission trip and
SS501 coming to Singapore clash! Let me experience being a stupid, crazy but
non-screamish fan while I'm here on earth ok? I might even learn something from
it. Who knows?
I'm really sorry for being too obsessed with them. I'm even
more sorry for sacrificing time with You to watch their vids and stuff. Forgive
me!! I will change. But I need your help. I'm helpless without You.
It's
been nice typing to You! Haha. It'd be really cool if You'd like hmmm, how
should I put this... Help Double S to love You more too! That'd be like awesome
mann. It's not like they don't know You... And I'm sure You love all of them
too! Way more than I do! Work with them k? I know this might sound really crazy,
but I know it's not. You know it too :)

Loving You more & more,
Courtney 코트니

xxxxxx

( Run to the city. )